The 2016 CAPITAL HASH PUSSY RUN
"WOO HOO" I shouted to young Mrs Boop, "Hash is at a Casino tonight", "Break out the jam jars of One Cent coins and lets Gooooooo"
And so, we borrowed the next door neighbours kids, strapped them into the child seats in the back of the HiLux and roared orf to
the Casino at the Coolamon Court shops. As policy dictates, the children were left in the car, windows cracked a couple of Centimetres
and a cardboard sign placed in the front window stating our intentions to be away for ONLY 30 mins.
As is also policy for a Pussy Run, it was a well disorganised shambles, "Them Sheilars couldn't organise a root in a brothel" Anyway, no
great dramas as we go through this Shamozzle every year and know what to expect. A shortish trail so as not to cause any distress to
the high heel wearers, a smart drink stop of bubbles, sweeties and dip (as only FURBALLS can provide), only ruined by a complete lack
of chips (What's that all about???)
We circled up at the back of the shops in the Hyperdermic needle disposal area, a gold lam'e clad DISTEMPER rattled orf a few nouns
and verbs and described the run as being "as good looking as ANKLE BITER", a moth then flew out of his mouth (depending on the the
angle of the witness of this miraculous event).
SOFTCENTRE described the walk as "not to long, hard, moist and hairy" not surprisingly both reporters scored the run a 10/10.
Pussy run virgins: CAPT HORNBLOWER, SEEDLESS, SUNBEAM, FLUID MOVEMENT.
ANKLE BITER (Resplendent in his boob tube) and WXMAN were charged with gobbing on. GOBBLES claimed a dress which was left in
MOGO. All the witches (AKA Harriets) were then invited into the circle which caused a bit of a rush of oxygen into that area due to a
temporary deficiency. ANKLE BITER was charged for trying to stick his appendage into WXMANs belly button and leaving a black
A rather alarmed GREASE NIPPLE charged DISTEMPER for "Looking at him in a funny way" BABs copped an earfull of EASY due to
getting EASYS birthday wrong. FRIZZY LIZZIE was charged with letting the rain wash out six kilometres of the trail.
GOBBLES told a story about his weekend in Mogo, and how he was penetrating every human with a warm moist recepticle and then
woke up with a frill necked lizard in his bed. CRASH and BURN (Who didnt say "Cock" once this evening, quite unfairly called JR
"Ugly". Quite unjustified. and the charge was compounded by C and B also charged with going ugly early.
MEAT TO PLEEZE YOU was quite unfairly castigated for wearing incorrect costume WTF??? and then the complete sordid story was
aired live on national hash circle television. Apparently he was relying on COUNT HER FEET (a well known female impersonator) to
provide costuming for him, and surprise, surprise, she let him down.
ANKLE BITER clocked up 10,000 steps just from being in and out of the circle.
EASY CUM EASY GO has clocked up 700 "Seen to leaves", and GREASE NIPPLE has been seen to leave 900 glorious times.
The Front running bastard award, after an interminably long charge, went to ANKLE BITER.
Best dressed boy went to JR
Best dressed girl went to MEAT TO PLEASE YOU
Best man dressed as a man went to GOBBLES
Biggest belly went to CENTREFOLD (I was robbed)
FRIZZY LIZZIE conducted some strange fizzy tongue ceremony
JR also picked up the Kalamantan award for the man who looks most like a woman who looks most like an Orang-utan.
All in all, another great evening organised by the coven of witches that hides amounst the Capital hash
NOTE: all care is taken to accurately transcribe the evenings Shenanigans into the minutes. However, there is a slight possibility that what
happened and what i remember happening may come out slightly differently.
GOD BLESS THE HASH, ON ON to the Bike Hash Xmas Ride at Nara park on SATURDAY 10 Dec 16. See the web site.
And, INFALLABLES Capital Xmas run, see the web site and bring a $10 Chris Cringle