THE FAT CAT HASH TRASH Volume 1935 With apologies to MIGHTY APHRODITE whose formatting, and some text, I have borrowed for this Weeks Notes. NEXT RUN RUN DATE HARE WHERE 1936 28-Aug-17 POPTART Venue to be advised at time of writing PAST RUNS FOR CAPITAL RUN DATE HARE WHERE 1935 21-Aug-17 TURKEY SLAP Jerra-bomb-berra Grand Mattress: FRIZZY LIZZIE Acting Religious Adviser: CENTREFOLD Run Report Obviously, the planets and heavenly bodies were in perfect alignment on Monday night (all the criteria needed for an eclipse of any type)… Because everything seemed as close to perfection as one can dream of… Except, the hare almost lost the GM….a minor point in the scheme of things. TURKEY SLAP set two trails and produced four different land charts that were magnificent in their presentation, but completely useless in their application. The runners trail led hashers on a delightfully pleasant trot through bush around Jerra-bomb-berra… Apart from Gerbils causing the usual chaos, disorder, and confusion on trail… Weatherdog doing his best to trip hashers over…and Gerbils admitting to us that he was willing to do immoral and unusual sexual acts for his dentist to get a discount on his dental bill…the run was truly unimprovable! TWO FATHERS told us about hashers dematerialising on trail, the uselessness of the land chart and well done for nearly losing the GM. SEXCHANGE related how “Smart” the trail was, how GERBILS kept falling off it (the trail, obviously) and how good the bits of Jerra was that he hadn’t seen before. He then sang a limerick about MIGHTY APHRODITE. Nobody knows how he does it, but WEATHERMAN manages to mangle the English language better than a heavily concussed rugby league player being interview on the sideline. Then the usual shenanigans went on in the circle. Stuff worth mentioning: TURKEY SLAP was charged for using invisible blue chalk which could only be seen with an ultra violet light. CAPT HORNBLOWER was charged for clocking up unnecessary extra steps TURKEY SLAP for blatantly lying during the chalk talk. A charge which bounced straight back to INFALLABLE INFALLABLE for not following trail and bleating ABOUT the trail MIGHTY APHRODITE gave us an update on the platting sequence she follows when managing her pubes. SUNBEAN for giving WEATHERMAN bouncing cheques WEATHERMAN for supplying wet receipts POPTART for making the receipts wet DANGLES for making POPTART wet CRASH and BURN was charged for not having made a charge yet TENANT DAN was charged for not having been charged yet BETTY BOOP charged herself for re-enacting the perils of Pauline on the trail Awards Little Prick – Was given by HORNBLOWER to CENTREFOLD for once being in the Senior Service FRB – Grease Nipple – for being ridiculously early for Hash PPP – was given to EASY CUM EASY GO for running without a torch Anniversaries INFALLABLE – Has been seen to leave 600 times DDHD Update: DDHD is, in his own words “Fucked” However, he still intends getting overseas to Malaysia to attend the mother hash 80th anniversary Check out the Hash Calendar on the Capital website.